emotion: a mix of melancholy and an excitement to see what happens in the future
health: 87%
where am i feeling my emotion?: in my throat and my hands
song of the day: young girl A - wowaka
well. this entry is being written while im making this site. i dont know html very well at all, im not 100 sure why i made this. i'll probably be speaking to noone for a while. maybe someone will find this, maybe noone will. i think im okay with either outcome.
today has been pretty uneventful. i woke up around 11am, ate my breakfast. my neck finally stopped hurting, which is good because its been hurting for several days now. my parents informed me they want to go out and do something with me tomorrow. im happy my parents care for me, but i really dont want to. im so drained, and from nothing at all. i guess im just tired maybe, or im having an episode. if anyones reading this, for context i have some issues with depression, anxiety, adhd and probably other things too. ive had a lot of people tell me to get screened for autism and ocd. one person mentioned to me that i could have bpd, and i wouldnt be suprised but id rather not claim to be something im not.
ugh, typing this is making me down. i wish i wasnt like this. i wish i couldve been born normal, instead of just having something wrong with me or whatever this is. im stuck, this is a cycle and it never stops. i feel really empty and i dont like it. i barely know who i am. maybe if i write enough it'll help me figure it out? i feel like im always performing.
sorry for the downer of an entry. its summer right now, so i dont have things to do, and i always get worse when im not doing anything.
i should maybe figure out something to call myself on here. whatever, ill figure it out eventually. im gonna make a guest book for the site after i make the landing page.